The Hunting of the Snark

29/03/2011

The aliens have littered

Filed under: Snarky — Jeremy Irish @ 21:35
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I went out to the shops last week and saw this object sitting on the busy footpath in front of our house:

A discarded empty crisp pack of Space Raiders

Take us to your litter

As I continued on, three thoughts went through my head.

  1. Ick.
  2. Space Invaders… My wife was just showing me some cookies she’d seen online decorated with a ‘Space Invaders’ theme.
  3. Crisp packs sitting on the ground like this really are space invaders! (Ooh… deep… clever…)

It later turned out that the product is actually called ‘Space Raiders’ rather than ‘Space Invaders’, probably for fairly good reasons. So not quite as clever. Oh, well. Still works.

I decided I would snap a picture, write a post and then pick up that package. Plus a very dead umbrella nearby.

A child's ruined umbrella apparently resembling a frog

Amphibious landing

Plus a glove (or possibly a severed Muppet hand) that had been abandoned in our garden since well before the thaw—seriously, a month at least.

A small, pink, furry, fetid glove

Unrequited glove

At first, I was just going to bin it, because I figured, it’s never been reclaimed, and who would really want the ugly thing back? Then I thought maybe I should ask the neighbours in case it belonged to one of their kids, never mind how ugly it was. Then I thought it must be really un-hygienic as well as ugly, so the best idea was to toss it after all.

So there we go. I was inspired to clear away three pieces of litter. My blog has done its first actual good deed in the world.

– The Snark

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07/05/2010

Re: Fwd: Fwd: fw: fwd: FWD: Your forward

Filed under: Snarky — Jeremy Irish @ 07:00
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To: A.Friend
From: Jeremy.Irish
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: fw: fwd: FWD: Your forward
Date: 7 May 2010

Hello,

Thank you for sharing this. I’m glad you enjoyed it and I appreciate your thinking of me when you decided to send it on.

It was indeed amusing/inspirational/touching/intriguing. So I understand why I have been asked to continue passing the message to others who may like it, although that probably is best left to my judgment, don’t you think?

On the other hand, the request to send a copy of it directly back to YOU puzzles me. You’ve seen it already, haven’t you? Do you actually want to read it again that many times? Sending a message with graphics/sound clips/videos uses up a lot of bandwidth and energy, and I feel certain you would agree it’s not good to burn trees for no reason. (To avoid confusion: sending an email ‘back’ takes just as much bandwidth and energy as sending it ‘forward’.) Tell you what, I’ll try hard to send you a quick note or a different forward once in a while instead.

Likewise, it would be very nice to avoid emotional/spiritual/circumstantial blackmail in forwards regarding how I use them—after all, in the distant past, i.e., a couple of weeks ago, it was a complete stranger to me who originally wrote these promises of inner peace/unexpected riches/deep shame/true love. Would you mind just deleting such lines before sending future messages? Not only does it make them nicer and more readable, but it’s a chance for you to demonstrate that you care enough for ME to take those few minutes.

If you have any thoughts about this, I would love to hear a reply from you.

As long as you DON’T simply return this message unedited, I’ll know we are cool.

– The@Snark

24/04/2010

Bury it and forget about it

Filed under: Snarky — Jeremy Irish @ 12:40
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I cleaned out Möbius’s litter box on Thursday. This is a chore that I really dread, although I’m not sure exactly why. It only takes about ten minutes, and it’s not any ickier than the everyday scooping out of the contents.

Really, I ought to be glad there is no such thing as a Cat Fouling Order. Like they could enforce that. Can you imagine trying to follow a feline around with a pooper scooper? Sounds masochistic. And I suppose the authorities have worked out that even if they found the cat droppings, there would really be no way of identifying the animal responsible, so no way of fining the owner.

Which reminds me. Giving some thought to a cat’s instinct for covering up its Business, I think it’s a matter of plausible deniability:

‘What cat poo? Why do you think I had anything to do with it? It was buried over there, could have been there for years, as far as you know. You got nothin’ on me.’

A dog’s refreshing honesty or a cat’s convenient dismissal: tough choice.

– The Snark

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